I have been rereading
Robert Louis Stevenson’s A Child’s Garden
of Verses, which originally appeared in 1885, and which I first read a little
while after that, when I was about five. I came across one line from a poem
called “Good and Bad Children” that puzzled me then and puzzled me once more
seventy-five years later.
Cruel children, crying babies,
All
grow up as geese and gabies,
Hated,
as their age increases,
By
their nephews and their nieces.
What, I wondered at five,
and again at nearly eighty, is a gaby?
It turns out it’s
a British dialect word, from the Midlands and the North Country, which means “simpleteon.”
Its first appearance in print, according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
was in Grose’s Dictionary of the Vulgar
Tongue in 1796.
Its etymology mystifies
the etymologists—so what are we poor mortals to make of it? It’s possible it is related to the Old Norse gapa, which came down to us through Old
English, and means “an openmouthed stare of wonder or awe.” Some experts want to connect it to the
Iceland gapi, which means a “rash or
reckless person.” But no one has come up with a completely convincing
rationale, so we’ll have to leave it hanging.
Many readers would like
to leave the Bard of Buffalo Bayou hanging, as retribution for atrocities like
this:
I
want no ifs, or buts, or maybes—
Cruel
children, crying babies,
And
folks who tweet in rampant rages
Should
be locked in padded cages,
Lest
their vehemence increases
And
they abruptly go to pieces.