tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214500991934511572024-03-13T14:50:34.529-05:00Words Going WildWords, wordplay, usage, and etymology. Puns, puzzles, poesy, palaver, persiflage, and poppycock. (Contents copyright 2009-2018)Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.comBlogger462125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-72115819023162683032020-09-16T11:19:00.000-05:002020-09-16T11:19:46.028-05:00It Can't Happen Here---Can It?<p>Here's a description of a noted politician:
</p><p class="MsoNormal"> “[He] was vulgar, almost illiterate, a public liar easily
detected, and in his “ideas” almost idiotic… [He] advocated…plenty of graft for
loyal machine politicians, with jobs for their brothers-in-law, nephews, law
partners and creditors….He would whirl arms, bang tables, glare from mad eyes,
vomit Biblical wrath from a gaping mouth…and almost contemptuously jab his
crowds with figures and facts—figures and facts that were inescapable, even
when, as often happened, they were entirely incorrect. He could…make you see
him veritably defending the Capitol against barbarian hordes, while he
innocently presented as his own warm-hearted inventions every anti-libertarian,
anti-Semitic madness…He regarded all foreigners, possibly excepting the
British, as degenerate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he was
the Common Man twenty-times-magnified by his oratory, so that while the other
Commoners could understand his purpose, which was exactly the same as their
own, they saw him towering among them, and they raised their hands to him in
worship.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sound like anyone you know of? Well, it’s Sinclair Lewis’
description of Buzz Windrip, the successful Presidential candidate in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It Can’t Happen Here</i>, published some 85 years ago.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou pondered the implications of Lewis's prescient political parable, and it left him almost speechless. Almost, but not quite.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>There is a problem with democracy:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Sometimes it leads to demagoguery,</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> And then, surrounded by hypocrisy,</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And lies, and threats, and pettifoggery, </span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span><span> </span> <span> </span><span> </span> Before you know it, you've got oligarchy--</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And that's malarkey! <br /></p>
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{page:Section1;}</style></p>Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-58162803083326063272019-12-13T16:44:00.000-06:002019-12-13T16:44:30.645-06:00Impeachy-Keen
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdgJWMyjBQmvfWDSAhJErj70dcHggJCDwgvuPRGyyCsxZc1s2rKpbRYnOQPnCBbIRZJKlyv20hUfD-Fg12A55TUQY1tPbMYuuG0HqBHfiWu3Qimw2Xm1tFJFf19h7dWc1Y0xLPpkgyiaFM/s1600/aj3-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="863" data-original-width="1452" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdgJWMyjBQmvfWDSAhJErj70dcHggJCDwgvuPRGyyCsxZc1s2rKpbRYnOQPnCBbIRZJKlyv20hUfD-Fg12A55TUQY1tPbMYuuG0HqBHfiWu3Qimw2Xm1tFJFf19h7dWc1Y0xLPpkgyiaFM/s320/aj3-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A
good many people recently have been using the word <i>impeach</i> as if it meant to oust someone (guess who) because of
misconduct. The Merriam-Webster College Dictionary (eleventh edition) even
allows this meaning (“remove from office”)--as a third alternate to the primary
definition (“bring an accusation against”). This ambiguity of meaning can be
confusing these days when people talk (some gleefully and some indignantly)
about impeaching the President. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Impeach</i> stems from the
Anglo-French <i>empecher</i>, meaning
“hinder, stop, impede, or capture,” which derives from the Latin <i>impedicare</i> (“fetter, entangle”). The
basic Latin roots are <i>pes</i> (“foot”)
and <i>imped</i><span class="e24kjd"><i>ī</i></span><i>re </i>(ensnaring the foot in a trap”). By late 14<sup>th</sup>
century, “impeach” was used to mean “accuse,” especially to accuse the King in
the House of Commons of treason or other high crimes. The shift in meaning was
no doubt due to confusion of <i>impedicare</i>
with the Latin <i>impetere</i>, which means
“attack or accuse.” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: .1pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: .01gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0in; mso-para-margin-right: 0in; mso-para-margin-top: .01gd;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now for a little civics lesson (pay attention, so you
may appear erudite at your next cocktail party or barroom brawl): As used in
the United States Constitution, <i>impeach</i>
means to make an accusation that an offense has been committed.<span> </span>The nature of the offense is, perhaps
purposely, left vague. The Constitution merely says, “The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the
United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction
of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.“ (Article II,
Section 4)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elsewhere
the Constitution specifies that the House of Represenatives has the “sole
powert of Impeachment” and that the Senate has the “sole Power to try all
Impeachments, with conviction requiring the “Concurrence of two thirds of the
Members present.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
punishment for conviction is limited to “removal
from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust
or Profit under the United States,” although the possibility of subsequent criminal
indictment and trial for the same offense is suggested.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Impeachment,
then, can be regarded as equivalent to indictment in criminal law, followed by
a trial that will determine whether the accused is guilty or not guilty.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two
previous United States Presidents have been impeached, and neither was found guilty.
(Here comes the history lesson.)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In
1868 Andrew Johnson, a Democrat, was impeached on eleven charges (“articles of
impeachment”), all having to do with his firing Secretary of War Edwin M.
Stanton, a violation of the Tenure of Office Act, which required Senate
approval of any firing of an official for whom Senate approval was required for
the appointment.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On
strict party lines, the House voted 126-47 for impeachment, with 17
abstentions. The Senate vote on the first four articles failed by one vote to
reach the two-thirds majority, and other seven articles were never voted on.
There were 35 votes, all Republicans, for conviction, and 19 against, comprising
10 Republicans and 9 Democrats. Democrats, of course, were underrepresented in
Congress since the delegates from the seceded Confederate states had not yet
been readmitted.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In
1998, Bill Clinton was impeached on two counts, lying under oath and
obstructing justice about sexual relations with two women, one of whom was a
White House intern. The House vote to impeach was largely on party lines: 223
Republicans and 5 Democrats for impeachment on the first charge, with 201 Democrats
and 5 Republicans against; and 216 Republicans and 5 Democrats for impeachment
on the second charge, with 200 Democrats and 12 Republicans against.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
Senate vote fell far short of the two-thirds requirement, with 45 Republicans
voting for conviction on the first charge, and 45 Democrats plus 10 Republicans
voting against. The second charge was closer, with 50 Republicans for and 45
Democrats and 5 Republicans opposed to conviction. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
Bard of Buffalo, who, surprisingly, has never been impeached, has been in hibernation
for a good long while, fortified by several cases of Chardonnay. Now he seems
to have run low on supplies, since he is back, versifying for his vino, with
this deplorable result:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>There’s
a big debate on impeachment,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>With
many a partisan preachment,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>And
much purple prose</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>About
<i>quid pro quos</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>And
what the President’s speech meant.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>On
the one hand we have Jerry Nadler,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>On
this issue he’s nobody’s straddler,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Then
there’s Collins and Gaetz,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Jordan,
Gohmert, and mates--</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Which
of them is the chief fiddle-faddler?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Nadler
said, “Listen, you chumps,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Let’s
not sit around on our rumps,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>We
can settle this claim</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>With
a speedy bridge game,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>And
the winning bid is no trumps.” <span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
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</style>Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-17810890751346886192018-12-20T14:06:00.001-06:002018-12-20T14:06:43.629-06:0023 Skidoo!
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXQlt3j_qbfdvd5F22G59FTF5lYb-vUEvgGs-Wu9kXAXfSR0C2fqr5IvmEqDMVJ4PBXNP6qZ223YfL5OrCDcfjllPYhqFLj4CnxLFpnDpFFy2CgnwX6DrRXQ-uK0BQLwxsmPiOzLph3XGh/s1600/600px-23skidoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXQlt3j_qbfdvd5F22G59FTF5lYb-vUEvgGs-Wu9kXAXfSR0C2fqr5IvmEqDMVJ4PBXNP6qZ223YfL5OrCDcfjllPYhqFLj4CnxLFpnDpFFy2CgnwX6DrRXQ-uK0BQLwxsmPiOzLph3XGh/s320/600px-23skidoo.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">People of a certain age (now mostly dead) will recall the
slang phrase <i>23 Skidoo! </i>It means “to leave quickly,” usually in order to avoid some
unpleasant consequence.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">First seen in print around 1906, it became a popular catch-phrase in the 1920s. Its etymological
origin is murky.<span> </span>Evidently it's a combination
of two earlier phrases, <i>twenty-three</i>
and <i>skidoo</i>, each of which independently
meant to “leave quickly” or possibly to “be kicked out of” an establishment. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One supposed explanation tries to associate <i>23 Skidoo</i> with New York’s Flatiron
Building, which is on West 23<sup>rd</sup> Street beween 5<sup>th</sup> Avenue
and Broadway. Because of the building’s odd shape, high winds swept vigorously
around it.<span> </span>Lecherous men (are
there any other kind?) liked to gather there in the early 1900s and watch women’s
skirts being blown up, revealing lots of leg. Cops would shoo the men away from
23<sup>rd</sup> Street, giving them<span>
</span>a “23 Skidoo.” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nice story, but probably not accurate.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The term <i>twenty-three</i>
by itself, meaning “scram,” appeared in print in 1899, but it can possibly be
traced all the way to Charles Dickens’ <i>A
Tale of Two Cities</i>, published in 1859.<span> </span>At the end of the novel Sidney Carton is No. 23 of a group
of some 50 to be guillotined. In the theatrical version, an old woman sits at
the foot of the guillotine, counting the heads as they roll. When Carton meets
his fate, she dispassionately says “twenty-three,” and the phrase became
popular among theatre folk, meaning “It’s time to exit.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another theory traces the term <i>twenty-three</i> to nineteenth-century English race tracks, where that
was the maximum number of horses allowed in a race, so that when No. 23 was in
the post, it was time for all the horses to leave and start the race.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Skidoo</i>, which
appeared by itself around 1901, is generally regarded as a variant of <i>skedaddle.</i><span> </span><i>Skedaddle</i> comes
from the British dialectic <i>scaddle</i>,
meaning to “run off <span> </span>in fright,”
which in turn is derived from Old Norse <i>skathi</i>
(“harm”).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou, who has had a long rest, has been
at his wit’s end (not a great distance) to come up with an appropriate verse.<span> </span>This tortured colloquy is the sad
result of his efforts.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>Into
a bar there came two dozen squid.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>Just
one does not remember what she did,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>No,
she does not recall what she did do—</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>But
you know that twenty-three squid do!</span></span></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-27921227032878307512018-07-07T16:52:00.000-05:002018-07-07T16:52:59.946-05:00What's the Word?
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4AruFOH9W_8tQo91vMO85Xa2YNYZ610Edp4K_47SobF5z1smMa0oqtwZQu6Db8L77sKf6YCHbOpau8la47_17NYOuB4f7IFJygrwFF5COJPJ30oaeU9-fnxnRQAB3Gk8UlyXLvnTqbTU/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4AruFOH9W_8tQo91vMO85Xa2YNYZ610Edp4K_47SobF5z1smMa0oqtwZQu6Db8L77sKf6YCHbOpau8la47_17NYOuB4f7IFJygrwFF5COJPJ30oaeU9-fnxnRQAB3Gk8UlyXLvnTqbTU/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There must be a word—although I do not know what it is—to
define a metaphorical term whose meaning has supplanted the literal meaning of
the original.<span> </span>There are plenty of
these words in English.<span> </span>A few
examples are:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Mortarboard</i>—Chances
are the first thing you think of when you hear this word is a flat academic
hat—not a mason’s tool for holding a gooey building material.<span> </span>Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary,
published in 2007, <span> </span>even lists the
academic hat as the primary meaning.<span>
</span>Webster’s New International of 1949, however, says a flat board with a
handle for holding mortar should go first, with the hat in second place. I
conclude that this shift in primary meaning has taken place over a
half-century.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Warhorse</i>—Most
people think first of a veteran public official or an overdone artistic work
before settling on the original meaning, a horse used in battle.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Beanpole</i>—A tall
thin person comes to mind before a wooden stick for a bean vine to grow on.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Blockbuster—</i>Originally
this was a bomb so powerful it could blow up a city block, but now it’s
primarily a production of some sort that is extravagant and spectacular.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Melting Pot—</i>This
term has been used so often to describe the diverse society of the United
States that hardly anyone would now think it meant a crucible in which to
dissolve substances over high heat. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Barn Burner</i>—Very
few barns actually go up in flames when this term is used; instead it refers
to something that arouses a great deal of excitement.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Spare Tire</i>—Okay,
which do you think of first—that Goodyear radial in the trunk or that extra
layer of fat around the tummy?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Nest Egg</i>—Which is
it—an egg left in a nest to induce a hen to lay more (original meaning) or a
sum of money saved for a rainy day?<span>
</span>I’ll bet you think first of the latter.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m sure there must be many more such terms that have
virtually lost their original definition and now primarily denote their
metaphorical meaning.<span> </span>Now all I
have to do is find out what to call them.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou (who has been uncharacterstically
dormant for a blessed while) has bestirred himself (having thought he heard the
tinkle of ice cubes) to regurgitate a few lines of gibberish.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>A
Broadway composer, who thought anything goes, <span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>At
a college commencement soon started to doze, </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>For
alas, one address by a man in a mortarboard,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>I
have to confess, left poor old Cole Porter bored.</span></span></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-13541947469913270092018-04-23T14:44:00.000-05:002018-04-23T14:44:06.952-05:00Would I Lie?
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixQuuuzp8P4u1PeewEnnOtXx-n3bfQGZitavO89lADy8lYnHqW9_W6nnY7Hk5fo5M5kwsczJFDOj-zuW_Gx-L2TAv6j5ljMiZLeVU3xob_Nh6wpBc4c8KEnTH2IUhR8eUieV9RWlQBx3FA/s1600/lie_lay-plate-1B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="490" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixQuuuzp8P4u1PeewEnnOtXx-n3bfQGZitavO89lADy8lYnHqW9_W6nnY7Hk5fo5M5kwsczJFDOj-zuW_Gx-L2TAv6j5ljMiZLeVU3xob_Nh6wpBc4c8KEnTH2IUhR8eUieV9RWlQBx3FA/s320/lie_lay-plate-1B.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, I know the “Lie-Lay” Train has left the station without me on it,
but two recent misuses of these verbs were so egregious that I cannot forbear
making a last-ditch effort. The cases in point:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. The Houston Chronicle, the backbone of the Hearst newspaper empire,
reported that the “body of Mrs. Bush will <b>lay</b>
in state at St. Martin’s Episcopal Church.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. A few days later, a CNN on-line item related that the passengers on
a Southwest Airlines plane, trying to rescue a woman sucked through a window
when an engine blew out, “grabbed her and <b>lay</b>
her on the floor.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Those two usages, mirror opposites of each other in their wrongness,
sound so painfully offensive to the ear that it’s difficult to imagine anyone, let
alone a professional writer of the English language, thinking they were right.
O, copy editors, where art thou?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One more time, allow me to point out:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In the present (or future) tense, <i>lie</i>
means to “repose or recline, to be prone or supine.” (There’s a little mnemonic
rhyme.) It also means simply to “be situated.” <i>Mrs. Bush’s body will<b> lie </b>in
state<b>.</b></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The past tense of <i>lie</i> is <i>lay.</i> <i>Mrs.
Bush’s body<b> lay </b>in state last week.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The past participle of<i> lie</i> is <i>lain</i>.
<i>Many important people<b> have lain </b>in state before they were buried</i>.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">OK, now then: <i>lay</i> in the
present (or future) tense is an entirely different word. It means to “put or to
place something.” The key here is “something.”<span> </span><i>Lay</i> in the present
(or future) tense requires an object. <i>The
rescuers are going to<span> </span><b>lay the woman</b> on the floor.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The past tense of <i>lay</i> is <i>laid</i>. <i>The passengers <b>laid</b></i><b> <i>the
woman</i> </b>on the floor.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The past participle of <i>lay </i>is
also <i>laid.</i> <i>The rescuers <b>have laid the woman</b></i><b> </b><i>on
the floor and are now back in their seats. </i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Of course, everyone knows—I pray I am correct—that <i>lie</i>, meaning to “tell an untruth,” comes from an entirely different
root and has nothing to do with the words we are discussing.<span> </span>(This <i>lie</i>'s past and past participle is <i>lied</i>.)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">‘Nough said?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou thinks he never says enough, and so he relentlessly
offers this verse, which will be of no help whatsoever in remembering whether
to use <i>lie, lay, </i>or <i>laid.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>I
was laid up, so I lay
down <span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
To lie low while I was sick.<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
My boss rang up to lay me off,<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
And I laid it on quite thick.<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
But still my boss laid into me--<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
That made me worse, no doubt.<span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Now on my tomb, engraved, you’ll see: <span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
“Laid up, laid low, laid off, laid out.”</span></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-79856650415033073072018-03-21T15:13:00.002-05:002018-03-21T15:13:58.665-05:00 Dibs on Nibs
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8pAUvv3qd4Hk8JWCdffgjwFmjqhozknAhiJLyJKsPt_xQ-kRJBeCDO_hgBX2xb0Ru3zj5kshbw1neu6eJSch5HTszAJ3hxUjEbwDp9u7jTfVA1GFgxc9YpSqd0tInWjHpbrLX5sfxPWBT/s1600/Georgia_gibbs.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="312" data-original-width="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8pAUvv3qd4Hk8JWCdffgjwFmjqhozknAhiJLyJKsPt_xQ-kRJBeCDO_hgBX2xb0Ru3zj5kshbw1neu6eJSch5HTszAJ3hxUjEbwDp9u7jTfVA1GFgxc9YpSqd0tInWjHpbrLX5sfxPWBT/s1600/Georgia_gibbs.JPG" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>Not many readers,
I expect, will recall the pop-jazz singer of the 1940s and 1950s who was
invariably introduced as “Her Nibs, Miss Georgia Gibbs.” It was a nickname
conferred on her by the radio host Garry Moore, playing on the common phrase
“His Nibs,” a satirical title of honor for a person of self-importance. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>No longer
much in use, “His Nibs” first appeared in 1821 and its origin, according to all
the etymological experts, is obscure.<span>
</span>Clearly, it is not related to <i>nib</i>
in the singular, which is a variant of <i>neb,
</i>and means either a “beak” or a “pen point.” It derives from the Old Norse <i>nef </i>(“beak”).<span> </span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>More
likely, “His Nibs” had its origin in <i>nabob</i>,
a word that came from the Hindi <i>nav</i></span><i><span>āb </span></i><span>and Urdu <i>nawāb</i>, which are
words for a provincial governor of the Mogul Empire in India and, hence, a
“person of great wealth and power.”</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span>Nabob</span></i><span> also gave us <i>nob</i>, which appeared in 1703, a slang
term for a person of the upper class. San Francisco’s Nob Hill, was named for
four such persons, the railroad tycoons Leland Stanford, Mark Hopkins, Charles
Crocker, and Collis Huntington, who built mansions there.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>Another variant also probably descended from <i>nabob</i> is <i>nabs</i>, dating
from 1790, and used with a possessive as a jocular designation of an important
person, i.e. “His Nabs.”</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>Georgia Gibbs was born Frieda Lipschitz in 1919 in Worcester,
Massachusetts, and became known, first as Fredda Gibson and then as Georgia
Gibbs, as a singer whose hits included “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d Have
Baked a Cake,“ “Kiss of Fire,” and “Dance With Me, Henry.”<span> </span>She died in 2006 at the age of 87. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span>His Nibs, The Bard of Buffalo Bayou, would like to hobnob with
nabobs, but most of them prefer to avoid him.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>I
once had a pal who was known as His Nibs,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>And he
could not abide anyone who told fibs.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span><span> </span>If
someone strayed from the truth</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span><span> </span>He
would say, “That’s uncouth!”</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>And
poke the offender quite hard in the ribs.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>If
His Nibs were around in 2018,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>And
tuned to Fox News on the big TV screen,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span><span> </span>When
he heard all the inanity</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span><span> </span>Of
Carlson, Ingraham, and Hannity,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span> </span>There’d
more aching ribs than you’ve ever seen. </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-19381711293975243942018-02-27T15:35:00.001-06:002018-02-27T15:35:30.682-06:00Bar Talk
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhofjkvsHKOJSsuEC7oUQvEDAEBUYPtfa6ZjqdvpznLczFswuyYa0ESaLk1nNNbC0BsrrIPoOrplHqhlPlI_q9cdYvig4EN4nuFGslFdXIDZoV3oqb6XPi6ajUe5o4-Hjlm_ts20ErCy-wF/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="189" data-original-width="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhofjkvsHKOJSsuEC7oUQvEDAEBUYPtfa6ZjqdvpznLczFswuyYa0ESaLk1nNNbC0BsrrIPoOrplHqhlPlI_q9cdYvig4EN4nuFGslFdXIDZoV3oqb6XPi6ajUe5o4-Hjlm_ts20ErCy-wF/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">Normally, I don’t like to steal material from
other writers to use in this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, that’s not entirely true; I steal a lot, but I usually try to disguise
the theft. In this case, however, I’m reprinting verbatim a very clever Facebook
post, whose author is anonymous, but nonetheless deserves to stand up and take
a bow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">Herewith, a few variations on the “man walks
into a bar” jokes:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the
bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
bar was walked into by the passive voice.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>An
oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Two
quotation marks walk into a “bar.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in
cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent
other, who takes him for granite.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hyperbole
totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping
to nip it in the bud.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Three
intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
synonym strolls into a tavern.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At
the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a
button, and sharp as a tack.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
sentence fragment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
conditional and the subjunctive would walk into a bar, if it were possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>An
Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
television getting drunk and smoking cigars.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A
gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">The Bard of Buffalo bayou walks into a bar
every chance he gets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he
comes out, he’s usually staggering and clutching a sheaf of dubious verses,
such as:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">A florist
walked into a bar,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And said, “I’ll have two Buds.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A laundress who was with him said,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
“Just pour me up some suds.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
“On second thought,” the laundress said,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
“Make that a cup of Cheer.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And then an undertaker said,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
“I think I’ll have a
bier.” </span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
An optician walked into the bar</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And said, “I’d like two glasses.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A fisherman then said, “I want </span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
Some ale—make that two Basses.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A milkman walked into the bar,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And said, “I’ll take a quart.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A sailor right behind him said,</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
“I’m really into port.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A cotton farmer in the bar</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
Remarked, “I need a gin.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A census-taker then came in </span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And asked for Mickey Finn.</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A contortionist squeezed in</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And called out, “Bottom’s up!”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
Omar Khayyam came in then</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And wrote, “Come fill the cup.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A gunman walked into the bar</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
And said, “I’ll take a shot.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
A realtor scanned the drink list and</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;">
Declared, “I’ll have the lot.”</span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-63698484073676168422018-01-29T12:53:00.001-06:002018-01-29T12:53:19.001-06:00Oscar and Tony and Emmy and Grammy
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Grammy Awards aired the other night on television, to be followed in a
month or so by the Oscars, then the Tonys, and, finally, in September, the
Emmys. This makes me wonder what all those names mean.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_PjZywee0-1txg6Its-cdk86qgTlXXZM5qjdQ5ZmBG0eW4Yl-WVoJUlu0LlTy0-yOAQzbT1EnmmtJoz2MAoDxaDTMxrtO7KrVQ0PA-V_0BMbph7qL6e47-vNXSDvsTuIhbnTQmLyDZiOV/s1600/rs_1024x759-170222140340-1024-oscars-statuette+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="438" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_PjZywee0-1txg6Its-cdk86qgTlXXZM5qjdQ5ZmBG0eW4Yl-WVoJUlu0LlTy0-yOAQzbT1EnmmtJoz2MAoDxaDTMxrtO7KrVQ0PA-V_0BMbph7qL6e47-vNXSDvsTuIhbnTQmLyDZiOV/s320/rs_1024x759-170222140340-1024-oscars-statuette+%25281%2529.jpg" width="210" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The origin of the Oscar is both well-known and mysterious. First awarded in 1929,
it was was known then as the Academy Award, named for the Academy of Motion
Pictures Arts and Sciences. There are conflicting stories of how it became
known as the Oscar. The Academy’s executive secretary, Margaret Herrick, claimed
that when she saw the statuette she thought it resembled her Uncle Oscar
(actually her cousin, Oscar Pierce), and began calling it that. But actress
Bette Davis maintained that she named the statue after her first husband,
bandleader Harmon Oscar Nelson. The name remained unofficial until 1939, when
the Academy officially adopted it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxtRrF_GBglxzepquZkWxAOcWsKBb01qnylHznwu2P5wGoJtoH-_IO06OShk3sx9FLDFHMHWRoD4PHDgRAYl-5CZ-V5FeVgLU-3WT-bBXWAod5CmBG5ROAuSbl2rS54IpytozMiHkWlV8o/s1600/tony-award_1024x1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxtRrF_GBglxzepquZkWxAOcWsKBb01qnylHznwu2P5wGoJtoH-_IO06OShk3sx9FLDFHMHWRoD4PHDgRAYl-5CZ-V5FeVgLU-3WT-bBXWAod5CmBG5ROAuSbl2rS54IpytozMiHkWlV8o/s320/tony-award_1024x1024.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Tony Award, for excellence in the Broadway theatre, was established by
the American Theatre Wing and named in honor of the organization’s co-founder, actor-director
Antoinette (“Tony”) Perry, who died in 1946, the year before the first award
was given.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht2_VD8Aq3AzeCwXzFZcfi7nL1oKl3yVsar7yJItS4Se2O1rbz86nqVviN6M45NkPd_fYBAK2tMvOcbhIT6Q2hEADM6iRKKQ7wFc_3wMWgiIxZ6hVlHndonwlrCeLW9bcj0EqX2zBg-Pb8/s1600/latest.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="564" data-original-width="301" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht2_VD8Aq3AzeCwXzFZcfi7nL1oKl3yVsar7yJItS4Se2O1rbz86nqVviN6M45NkPd_fYBAK2tMvOcbhIT6Q2hEADM6iRKKQ7wFc_3wMWgiIxZ6hVlHndonwlrCeLW9bcj0EqX2zBg-Pb8/s320/latest.png" width="170" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Emmy Awards were first given in 1949 for TV shows produced in the Los
Angeles area. They later became national in scope and are now administered by
three separate but related television industry associations.<span> </span>The first name proposed for the award in
the early 1950s was the “Ike,” which was short for “iconoscope,” a tube used in
television production.<span> </span>But that
term risked confusion with then President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was known
as “Ike.” “Immy,” the common term for an “image orthicon tube,” used in early
cameras, was chosen instead, and this was soon changed to the name “Emmy,” to
match the feminine statuette that was given.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlGe1EhtqJR6RetMZg05l-IytWTQCRPrHsmk-VfrePU2a1wIIs6kWiAh4KUaJhe5hwmWeXKa_IKRXDsmDx8WdiTvXcQQ7yUron9t_o1RPlDhfD-JYp1uRwBDCRKQkPxrJmxw0Mk69VYyNQ/s1600/1015599-grammy-award-617-409+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="409" data-original-width="341" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlGe1EhtqJR6RetMZg05l-IytWTQCRPrHsmk-VfrePU2a1wIIs6kWiAh4KUaJhe5hwmWeXKa_IKRXDsmDx8WdiTvXcQQ7yUron9t_o1RPlDhfD-JYp1uRwBDCRKQkPxrJmxw0Mk69VYyNQ/s320/1015599-grammy-award-617-409+%25281%2529.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The first name proposed for the Grammy Award was the “Eddie,” for Thomas
Alva Edison, inventor of the phonograph (which used a cylinder recording).<span> </span>But the National Academy of Recording
Arts and Sciences, which gives the award, decided instead to name it for the
gramophone, a German invention that was disc-based. The Gramophone Award, first
given in 1958, was immediately shortened to “Grammy.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">These are regarded as the “Big Four” awards in entertainment, and only
twelve artists are EGOTs—those who have won all four of them in competitive
categories. They are: composer-musicians Richard Rodgers, Jonathan Tunick,
Marvin Hamlisch, and Robert Lopez; actors Helen Hayes, Rita Moreno, John
Gielgud, Audrey Hepburn, and Whoopi Goldberg; and producer-directors Mel
Brooks, Mike Nichols, and Scott Rudin. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It will come as no surprise to learn that the Bard of Buffalo Bayou has not
won any of these awards, or any others, for that matter. The reason will be
obvious if you read the following:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Oh,
I crave no prize,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Even
one of great size,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Made
of gold that would glisten and flash.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Such
an honor, you see,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Was
not meant for me—</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>I’d
much rather just have the cash.</span></span><br />
<br />
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-79786416184812656702018-01-14T16:01:00.003-06:002018-01-14T16:01:48.722-06:00Nifty Swifties
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Gy3nPlGpHdZjSkjN2GNOtmg8upkeGD3a8PnNimnPGfEBTk1_V0Y0m9CRzBN8SFehcGsDIrrOqgBezvj59kcSd45l8dR8JNeULSBCz6KiLPdSvDLZLe5lptqmNsca0BDEtHealomCQ0e8/s1600/tssr01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="285" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Gy3nPlGpHdZjSkjN2GNOtmg8upkeGD3a8PnNimnPGfEBTk1_V0Y0m9CRzBN8SFehcGsDIrrOqgBezvj59kcSd45l8dR8JNeULSBCz6KiLPdSvDLZLe5lptqmNsca0BDEtHealomCQ0e8/s320/tssr01.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some of the best Tom Swifties I’ve ever seen were posted recently on
Facebook. For those who may have forgotten, Tom Swift is the hero of a series
of boy’s books, the first of which, <i>Tom
Swift and His Motor Cycle</i>, was published in 1910. They were written by the
pseudonymous “Victor Appleton,” actually publisher Edward Stratemeyer and several
of his employees. The same group also published books about the Bobbsey Twins,
the Rover Boys, the Hardy Boys, Uncle Wiggily, Don Sturdy, and Nancy Drew—all
by Stratemeyer and his team using various <i>noms
de plume</i>. <span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The style of the Tom Swift books was noted for usinig adverbial modifiers
for many of Tom’s statements, as: “….Tom said cheerfully” or “…Tom said
eagerly.”<span> </span>This practice gave rise
in the 1920s to a type of pun called a “Tom Swifty.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here are some of the examples I just came across:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I can’t believe I ate that whole pineapple,” Tom said dolefully.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I dropped the toothpaste,” Tom said, crestfallen.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“That’s the last time I pet a lion,” Tom said offhandedly.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I’ll dig another ditch around the castle,” Tom said remotely.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“We need a home-run hitter,” Tom said ruthlessly.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I shouldn’t sleep on the railroad tracks,” Tom said, beside himself.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And a variant: “You call this a musical?” asked Les miserably.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some other gems, which, incidentally, can be found in my book <i>Puns, Puzzles & Wordplay</i> (originally
<i>Words Gone Wild)</i>, still available at a
greatly reduced price at amazon.com, are:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Elvis is dead,” Tom said expressly.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Your honor, you’re crazy,” Tom said judgmentally.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I work in the prison cocktail bar,” Tom contended.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou, in honor of this occasion, has resurrected one of
his verses, which needed only a little resuscitation before showing signs
of life:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>There once was a guy named Tom Swift,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>
</span> Whose 9-to-5 shift got short
shrift.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
By noon he would lift</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
Several pints—get my drift?
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>
</span><span> </span><span> </span>To show he was swift
getting squiffed.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-75856084275706605692017-12-18T11:56:00.000-06:002017-12-18T11:56:24.183-06:00Milkshake Duck, Anyone?
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8gUrt1oJHsgKRy-WNcu48qti1tFpgL3JaiteRSWt7FdjPjxkyRUt07GkMQPhu-0dD8HCPN6kWGdVorz3DuzcOLtDi4XonCdvzcmbolCIsF-jvLk-MjH29309KCaluEjZDmQsS50xydPr/s1600/milkshakeduck.0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8gUrt1oJHsgKRy-WNcu48qti1tFpgL3JaiteRSWt7FdjPjxkyRUt07GkMQPhu-0dD8HCPN6kWGdVorz3DuzcOLtDi4XonCdvzcmbolCIsF-jvLk-MjH29309KCaluEjZDmQsS50xydPr/s320/milkshakeduck.0.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Oxford Dictionaries, publisher of the venerable Oxford English
Dictionary, has chosen <i>youthquake</i> as
its word of the year. I suppose I might as well confess that I have never seen
or heard this word before—even though it was allegedly coined in the 1960s by
none other than Diana Vreeland, editor of <i>Vogue
</i>magazine.<span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Youthquake</i>’s self-evident
definition is “significant cultural, political or social change arising from
the actions of young people.” Its equally self-evident etymology is from the
words <i>youth</i> and <i>earthquake.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">While I’m on the subject, I might as well also confess that the runner-up
words that the Oxford editors considered are also, for the most part, equally
unknown to me: Those words are <i>antifa,
broflake, newsjacking, white fragility, gorpcore, kompromat, Milkshake Duck, </i>and<i> unicorn.<span> </span></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Okay, I know about the radical leftist antifa (or anti-fascist) movement,
especially with respect to its agitation against Confederate monuments. And of
course I’m familiar with <i>unicorns</i>—I
see them all the time—although I gather the word must have some more
contemporary meaning to have been selected by the Oxford folks.<span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But <i>broflake?<span> </span>Gorpcore?<span> </span>Milkshake duck?<span>
</span></i>These are total strangers to my vocabulary. Who on earth uses these
terms and what in blue blazes do they mean?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well, for the benefit of those few of you who are as ignorant as I am of
modern slang, here’s a quick glossary.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Broflake</i> – a notably macho male
who is easily offended, especially by liberal social reform.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Newsjacking – </i>the art of subtly
twisting a news item into a commercial plug or an endorsement of a point of
view.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>White fragility </i>– discomfort by a
white person when confronted with facts about racial injustice</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Gorpcore – </i>fashion design
influenced by outdoors style, such as fleecy jackets, fannypacks, puffy
sleeves, etc.<span> </span>“Gorp” is a kind of
trail food composed of granola, oats, raisins, and peanuts.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Kompromat – </i>from a Russian
portmanteau word meaning “compromising material” – damaging information used
for blackmail or negative publicity of a public figure.<span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Milkshake duck – </i> an internet meme consisting of a duck who can drink a
milkshake, but who is later revealed to be a racist.<span> </span>It now refers to anyone with feet of clay—originally
enthusiastically praised but later found to have an unsavory side.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Unicorn – </i>in its current sense,
any product (especially food or drink) marketed in rainbow colors or decorated
with glittery effects.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou and I are still trying to cope with the words of
earlier years—like “swell,” “whoopee,” “the bees’ knees,” and “chuckaboo.”<span> </span>Take that, Oxford Dictionaries!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>New
words are a pain,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>They’re
all so ephemeral.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>They
just clutter my brain.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>I’d
rather take Demerol.</span></span><br />
<br />
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-3139770977535618902017-12-12T15:08:00.000-06:002017-12-12T15:08:32.138-06:00Hook, Line, & Sinker?
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve always been fascinated by business entities—mostly law offices,
financial firms, and advertising agencies—whose names are a list of the
principal partners. Such names have always possessed a certain poetry for me,
and I loved to recite them aloud. The classic, which I came across in my
childhood, was Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne—an ad agency whose name
the comedian Fred Allen famously said “sounds like a trunk falling downstairs.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Nowadays, the firm usually goes by BBD&O, which has much less romance to
it. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Merrill, Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, and Beane was another wonderfully named
company, until Smith replaced Beane, and eventually it became known simply as
Merrill Lynch, and was then gobbled up by Bank of America. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Law firms are prime examples of polynominalism.<span> </span>Among the best are Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton &
Garrison; Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld; and Skadden, Arps, Slate,
Meagher & Flom.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Accountants were no slouches in the multiple-name department. Touche, Ross,
Bailey & Smart led the pack, followed by Lybrand, Ross Bros. &
Montgomery; Deloitte, Haskins & Sells; and Peat, Marwick & Mitchell. Mergers
have destroyed the magic, and now instead we have plain old Deloitte or a
monstrosity like KPMG. For shame!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Growing up in Houston, I was entranced by the names of law firms such as
Vinson, Elkins, Weems & Searls (later either Connally or Smith was added);
Fulbright, Crooker, Freeman & Bates (later plus Jaworski); Baker, Botts,
Andrews, Shepherd & Coates; Andrews, Kurth, Campbell & Bradley (later
plus Jones); and<span> </span>Butler, Binion,
Rice, Cook & Knapp.<span> </span>When
switchboard operators answered the phone “Butler Binion,” it always sounded to
me as if they were saying “Butter beans.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My alltime favorite, which managed to squeeze six partners’ names into the
title, was Hill, Brown, Kronzer, Abraham, Watkins & Steely.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Houston ad agency of Goodwin, Dannenbaum, Littman & Wingfield was
also a gem, too often shortened in common parlance to GDL&W. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I was an alleged student of philosophy at The Rice Institute way back
when, our textbook had a chapter on German philosophers, several of whom I
thought should have gotten together and formed a firm. It would have been
called Schlegel, Schelling, Schiller, Schopenhauer, and Schleiermacher. Now
that’s poetry!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Poetry is an alien term to the Bard of Buffalo Bayou, whose verbiage is
something else—although no one knows quite what.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Trump,
McConnell, Ryan, & Pence,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>All,
by repute, Republican gents,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Were
first against Moore,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Then
said they were for--</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>But
wished they could stay on the fence.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-11294513063520604242017-11-14T15:42:00.000-06:002017-11-15T09:46:51.532-06:00What’s an Antille?<style>
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlKBy3H0tm0Mkd0hun_kt5r5I1ObIuFioglqhbhmTag0rCpz3lCMtmkrCYL1FMi8smksLoy1Tyj07Yw50mjh3TTQ3eu0S3nvAG22O7JNT7by6p7SRaChYWdz86BEDQzeHe1gYCiWXcC9K/s1600/800px-Caribbean_general_map.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="471" data-original-width="800" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlKBy3H0tm0Mkd0hun_kt5r5I1ObIuFioglqhbhmTag0rCpz3lCMtmkrCYL1FMi8smksLoy1Tyj07Yw50mjh3TTQ3eu0S3nvAG22O7JNT7by6p7SRaChYWdz86BEDQzeHe1gYCiWXcC9K/s320/800px-Caribbean_general_map.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">One of the customers
recently asked me why there have not been any posts to <i>Words Going Wild</i> for
several weeks. Well, I’ve been
pretty busy trying to keep count of the public figures who are apparently
guilty of sexual harassment. Every
time I think I’ve got a complete tally, whoops! here comes another one! I’m going to need an abacus.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">No matter. This seems as
good a time as any to address the issue of the Antilles, where all those
hurricanes recently caused such havoc. The “Antilles” is a term that refers to a
string of islands in the Caribbean.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Specifically the “Greater Antilles” consist
of Jamaica, the Cayman Islands, Cuba, Hispaniola, and Puerto Rico. The “Lesser Antilles” are divided into
two sections: the “Leeward Islands” (away from the wind), which include the
Virgin Islands, Anguilla, St. Martin, St. Barthelemy, St. Kitts, Nevis,
Barbuda, Antigua, Montserrat, Dominica, Guadeloupe, and a few others; and the “Windward Islands,” which curve
southward (toward the wind), and comprise Martinique, St. Lucia, St. Vincent,
Grenada, Barbados, Trinidad, and Tobago.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">In addition, just to complicate matters, there is a
group along the northern coast of Venezuela, known as the “Leeward Antilles,”
and they include Aruba, Curacao, Bonaire, Tortuga, and Margarita.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">So what is an
“Antille”? Actually, there’s no
such thing as one Antille; it's what is known as a <i>plurale tantum</i>, or a noun that exists only in the plural, like
“scissors” and “trousers.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">There are more than a
couple of theories about the origin of the word. Some say it is from the Portuguese <i>ante</i> (meaning “before”) and <i>ilha</i>
(an archaic word for “island”). </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Others say it's Gaelic,
from <i>an </i>(“water”) and <i>tealla</i> (“land”). Another theory is that
it comes from the word <i>Anti </i>(“opposite”)
attached to <i>ilhas, </i>meaning the “Opposite
Islands,” that is, those on the other side of the ocean.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Still other etymologists
have tried to establish a connection with Plato’s <i>Atlantis</i>, the fictional “Island of Atlas” that appears in some of
the dialogues, or with the Arabic <i>al-Tin</i>
(“the dragon”), in reference to the sea-dragons usually pictured at the
extremes of early nautical maps.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The term has been around since the Middle Ages. Some medieval maps show
a mysterious land known as “Antilia” in various parts of the Atlantic Ocean. After
the arrival of Columbus in 1492, the “West Indies” had a series of names,
including the “Windward Islands” and the “Forward Islands.” In 1502 a Portuguese map
called the Cantino Planisphere showed <i>Las
Antilhas del Rey de Castella</i> (“the Antilles of the King of Castile”).</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">All this Antillean
discussion has distracted me from counting sexual predators, and I see there are
already several more waiting in line that I have to add to the list.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou, in his usual enigmatic fashion, opines that we shouldn’t be surprised by
all this masculine sexual misbehavior.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> Sexual
harassment leads only to grief,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> But
it’s not so surprising, for it’s been my belief</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> That
the precedent is ample</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> When
men follow the example</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> That’s
been set by the Predator-in-Chief. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span>
</span>Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-3506460160037506032017-10-09T11:06:00.000-05:002017-10-09T11:20:37.837-05:00Bye, Bye, Copy Editors<style>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHK9x2S-_UQkrhydPFbvw0LkeX9KzGUqr7XOSBW8SQD_RpiWoQDPjXzzGtTB3HaF7ywbqHZN-PuocTlda4y7JT7RgqeuLufq31FB-IXlGRB2juGtkjxsAw1YAUBqTG_RVL7gsow7CPZ_L/s1600/df350f7d2fc5b580990a5b945e7fe2da--copy-editing-book-memes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="460" data-original-width="460" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHK9x2S-_UQkrhydPFbvw0LkeX9KzGUqr7XOSBW8SQD_RpiWoQDPjXzzGtTB3HaF7ywbqHZN-PuocTlda4y7JT7RgqeuLufq31FB-IXlGRB2juGtkjxsAw1YAUBqTG_RVL7gsow7CPZ_L/s320/df350f7d2fc5b580990a5b945e7fe2da--copy-editing-book-memes.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Earlier this summer, the venerable New York Times, long known as a
bastion of meticulous editing, eliminated its copy desk. What this means is
that there is no longer a department composed of copy editors, an elite group
of specialists whose job it is to ensure that the writing is in acceptable style with
correct grammar and word usage; check the accuracy of all assertions; verify any
questionable sources; remove any potentially libelous or defamatory statements;
assess the importance of a news story and assign it appropriate length and
prominence in the page layout; and write a catchy, informative headline.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">In times past the copy desk has been thought of as “the heart of the
newspaper,” or as one copy editor put it, “its immune system.” In the recent controversial elimination
of the New York Times copy desk, on the other hand, its work was referred to as
“low-value editing” and compared to “dogs urinating on a fire hydrant.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">In the future, all the editing tasks will be given to front-line
editors, the same people who make the assignments to reporters and work with
them on developing their stories. In other words, they will edit themselves. And they’ll be told to hurry
up—“streamlining” the process being one of the goals in getting rid of the copy
desk.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">This hardly strikes me as a prudent decision, especially in a time
when the news media are being accused of perpetrating “fake news” on the
public. To lose a complete step in the editing process can only increase the
likelihood of inaccuracies in reporting.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">On the most fundamental level, that of correct language usage, I have
noticed an increasing sloppiness in the Times in recent weeks—solecisms that
once would have been unthinkable in a paper of distinction. A few examples:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">(In a nostalgic story about World War II): </span></span></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Truman Calls on Nation to
Forego Meat Tuesdays”</span></span></b></i></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> What
this says is that the nation is being asked to </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> “forego,” that is “go before”
meat on Tuesdays. The </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> correct word
is “forgo,” meaning to "give
up.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“<i><b>They were their professionalism as a decent gentleman will wear his
suit.” </b></i><i><b> </b></i> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> This
is simply a careless substitution of “were” for </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> “wear.”<i><b> </b></i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><i><b>“Have tread.”</b></i> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> The verb “tread” has a profusion of past participles: </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> “trod,” “trodden”
and “treaded” are all acceptable.
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> “Tread,” however, is not.</span></span><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span></b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Laying in the bed.” </span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> I think every educated person knows this should
be </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> "lying." </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">I have little doubt that these errors are a result of hasty and
perfunctory editing by people who are reporters are heart, without the concern
for correct form found in a good copy editor. This is one more example of the
deterioration of modern society, and I regret that the New York Times has
succumbed to it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Full disclosure: I began my brief career in the newspaper business as
a copy editor on the old Houston Press, a Scripps-Howard daily that was
swallowed by the Houston Chronicle in 1964.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou is among those who has little truck with
copy editors. He feels they inhibit the natural outpouring of his genius.</span></span><br />
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> You
have to shell out many dimes </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> To
get a copy of The Times, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> And
when you do, you’d like to think </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> The
grammar’s right in all that ink. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> But
now The Times regards its editors </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> As
little more than vicious predators, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> And to our fear of terrorism </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> It adds the threat of errorism.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-81980215032383082592017-10-02T12:02:00.000-05:002017-10-02T12:02:22.070-05:00Slanted Definitions<style>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Some years ago, when I
was on a national tour of the musical <i>Mame</i>
starring Juliet Prowse, I published a weekly newspaper for the company called <i>The Mame Bugle.</i> It was usually two sides
of an 8-1/2x14-inch sheet, which I composed on a portable electronic typewriter
and had a printed at various local copy shops along the way. Our company
numbered 55-60 actors, musicians, technicians, dressers, chaperones, tutors,
infants, a road manager, and, for a brief period, a dog.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The newspaper’s contents
consisted of articles on each of the 23 cities where we played, a recap of the
previous week’s attendance, info on the following week’s hotels, personal news
in a column called “Tour Tidbits,” games in which readers were to guess the
identity of company members from clues given, crossword puzzles, word games,
poetry, bad jokes, and the “Everyone-Noticed-You” column, which awarded a prize
for the most egregious aberration in performance.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">I was abetted in this
journalistic endeavor by an actor named Neil Badders, who wrote much of the
copy, and we also solicited contributions from company members. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">This was a submission
from our star, the late and much lamented Juliet Prowse:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">“Slanted Definitions” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Bacteria</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">
– Lunchroom for chiropractors</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Filly</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">
– Nonfenfical or ridiculouf</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Gladiator</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> – How the lion felt after consuming the Christian</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Melanesia</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> – Loss of memory in cantaloupes</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Ragamuffin</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> – Something to eat at a Ravi Shankar concert</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Worcester</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> – Even worse than worst</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou is a native of Worcester, as readers of his verse are quick to note.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Miss
Juliet Prowse</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Was
taking her bows</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>After
a <i>Mame </i>matinee.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>When
along came a spider,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Who
sat down beside her</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And
said he had just seen the play.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Then
he got analytic,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Said
he was a critic,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And
began to attack and deride her.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>So
Miss Prowse took her shoe</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And
did just what <i>I’d</i> do—</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And
that was the end of the spider.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-7600688083745635262017-09-26T14:18:00.000-05:002017-09-26T14:18:25.095-05:00Rocket Man vs. Dotard
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0VMVTA331LjE9SErhUEktoe5GVIms1NMUCvMEEKyWQ1CJif-uiH8ZbxXGVQa9DWosAmPUrOPpUl0zfFdOt84Qx6RdWrovjxnXQkXMLQolpz9aDAp7BmTN5gkkKCFYrL1DitsHhjAt5Dq/s1600/Dotard-Memes-Kim-Jong-Un-Donald-Trump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="157" data-original-width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0VMVTA331LjE9SErhUEktoe5GVIms1NMUCvMEEKyWQ1CJif-uiH8ZbxXGVQa9DWosAmPUrOPpUl0zfFdOt84Qx6RdWrovjxnXQkXMLQolpz9aDAp7BmTN5gkkKCFYrL1DitsHhjAt5Dq/s1600/Dotard-Memes-Kim-Jong-Un-Donald-Trump.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When President Donald
Trump referred to North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jung-un as “Rocket Man,”
later amplified to “Little Rocket Man,” it got Kim’s dander up. His snappy
comeback was, “I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U. S.
dotard with fire.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rocket Man” was
presumably a reference to the Elton John-Bernie Taupin song of that name, which
ends with the lyric, “Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone.” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Dotard,” on the other hand, is a once popular term that has fallen into disuse.
Pronounced DOE-terd, it’s defined as a “person who is senile and has lost
mental alertness.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Dotard” has a sterling literary history. Chaucer in “The Wife of Bath’s
Tale” in <i>The Canterbury Tales</i> refers
to an “olde dotard shrew.”<span>
</span>Shakespeare uses the word several times, notably in <i>The Taming of the Shrew</i> when Baptista says of Vincentio, “Away with
the dotard!” In Tolkien’s <i>Lord of the
Rings</i>, Denethor tells Gandalf, “I will not step down to be the dotard
chamberlain of an upstart.” Union General George McClellan said of his
predecessor, Gen. Winfield Scott, “I don’t know whether he is a dotard or a
traitor.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But the word now is admittedly old-fashioned.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">According to the Associated Press, what Kim actually called Trump was a “neukdari,”
a derogatory Korean word for an “old person.” The North Koreans are known to
use outdated Korean-English dictioinaries, so when the Korean news agency
translated Kim’s remarks, “dotard” popped up as a synonym for “neukdari.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou has been in his dotage for many years. He’d like
to remain there for some while, since there’s only one alternative.<span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>You
“Rocket Man,” said Mr. Trump,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>With
a nod to to Elton John.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>He
thought that it would make Kim jump</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>And
feel most put upon.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>But
Kim was not to be outdone,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>And
to a bookshop motored</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>To
seek a word with which to stun—</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>And
he discovered “dotard”!</span></span><br />
<br />
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-7629373494869749262017-09-12T16:49:00.000-05:002017-09-12T16:49:07.546-05:00
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">JIM BERNHARD</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">River
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">3270
Westheimer at River Oaks Boulevard</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 20.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Refreshments!</span> </span></i></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-26720398365699355272017-09-04T12:10:00.000-05:002017-09-04T12:10:02.917-05:00How’s the Bayou By You?
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvrlb2yx1Ek1Wd2fjL_3E2z-uDuBbdU4DYIWyc5Ve36WCSiWUorIrQVbwZ62XoSFPJCi6TuxBUWcaL-SjGw9NHkJ-Br5FoR5OjbBHxXaSJTmVDSD5CE0mIgdyH9dt1F3jj81kNdSjpGWtl/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-09-04+at+11.53.20+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="523" data-original-width="779" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvrlb2yx1Ek1Wd2fjL_3E2z-uDuBbdU4DYIWyc5Ve36WCSiWUorIrQVbwZ62XoSFPJCi6TuxBUWcaL-SjGw9NHkJ-Br5FoR5OjbBHxXaSJTmVDSD5CE0mIgdyH9dt1F3jj81kNdSjpGWtl/s320/Screen+Shot+2017-09-04+at+11.53.20+AM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey’s horrendous rainstorm, which
caused many of Houston’s bayous to go over their banks, one of the more scholarly customers
has sent me an article from the <i>Wall
Street Journal</i> with some surprising information about the word <i>bayou.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As the article notes, <i>bayou</i>,
which means “slow-moving or sluggish creek or river,” may look and sound as if its origins
are French, but in fact they are probably Native American. The word is principally
used in the Gulf Coast region; elsewhere a similar waterway would more
likely be called a <i>stream</i>, a <i>brook</i>, a <i>river</i>, or a <i>canal.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The
origin of <i>bayou</i> is believed to be <i>bayuk</i>, a Choctaw word, taken from a
tribe that populated Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama until the 1830s, when
they were forcibly relocated to Oklahoma.<span>
</span><i>Bayuk</i>, generally spelled <i>bayouque, </i>later shortened to <i>bayou, </i>entered North American French sometime
in the eighteenth century, and English-speakers soon borrowed it. Some
etymologists say it first passed through a Native American pidgin called
“Mobilian Jargon” that various tribes spoke among themselves.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Another entirely different
theory traces <i>bayou </i>to the Spanish <i>bahía</i>, which means “bay.”</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Houston
is criss-crossed with bayous, including White Oak, Brays [pictured above, before and after flooding], Greens, Sims, Halls,
Cedar, Armand, Vince, Luce and Carpenters—in all more than 2,500 miles of them,
giving Houston the sobriquet “Bayou City.” </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The most prominent is Buffalo Bayou,
which runs through downtown Houston, and where, in palmier days, the Bard
could often be found lounging atop a pile of empty Chardonnary bottles, as fulsome lyrical effusions issued from his pen. Here is
one of his most detested efforts from that era.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>I’ve
never known if <i>bayou</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span> </span></i>Is
pronounced to rhyme with <i>Hi, you!</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span> </span></i>Or
if, when I say <i>bayou,</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span> </span></i>It
should sound more like <i>Ohio.</i></span></span></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-22022666789912455652017-08-29T16:57:00.000-05:002017-08-29T16:57:33.762-05:00Hunkering With Harvey
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZetPBUkRBE2_Du6UoSmvDqYdhtPMmxhLocqinVNgpKStcQhbXhtcBc4u9W8sHJT0jjj-wx5OCiN1tI7GxZ_evE-aO2kfIE9gU8svGVaXbW_ap92FXWd0AdS9UR6dmdMbf8S_WKe_6CTW/s1600/Unknown.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="243" data-original-width="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZetPBUkRBE2_Du6UoSmvDqYdhtPMmxhLocqinVNgpKStcQhbXhtcBc4u9W8sHJT0jjj-wx5OCiN1tI7GxZ_evE-aO2kfIE9gU8svGVaXbW_ap92FXWd0AdS9UR6dmdMbf8S_WKe_6CTW/s1600/Unknown.png" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">During Hurricane Harvey and its long-lasting rainy
aftermath, Houstonians were advised by public officials, news media, solicitous
friends, and even a few total strangers to “hunker down.”<span> </span>I’ve never been very clear about how I
should go about hunkering.<span> </span>It
sounds as if it involves some contorted physical effort which, at my age and in
my condition, would be inadvisable. I generally prefer to “settle back”
instead.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Everyone agrees the original meaning of the word “hunker”
was to “crouch or squat.”<span> </span>But etymologists
are divided about its origins. Some trace it to 1720 in Scotland, theorizing it
was a nasalized borrowing of the Old Norse <i>huka
</i>(“crouch”) or <i>hokra</i>
(“crawl”).<span> </span>Others wish to establish
a relationship with the northern British noun “hunker,” which means “haunch.”
Webster traces it to Middle Low German <i>hoken</i>,
which means either “squat” or “peddle.”</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In any event, “hunker” found its way into Southern U. S.
dialect around 1900, coupled with the word “down,” and meaning to “dig in for a
sustained period.” For some unexplained reason the term “hunker down” entered
widespread general usage around 1965. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Bard of Buffalo Bayou hunkers down a lot, but that’s
because he can’t move from that position after his third glass of cheap
Chardonnay.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>A
banker who hankered to hunker</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Settled
down for a while in a bunker.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>But
that dirty old stinker</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Was
a punk and a drinker,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>And
he hunkered until he got drunker</span></span>. </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-77387476764383993682017-08-21T11:16:00.000-05:002017-08-21T11:16:49.519-05:00Typo-theticals<style>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">One wrong letter in a phrase can make a lot of difference in its meaning. Here are some fanciful typographical errors in famous movie quotes, with whimsical suggestions of how they might be repurposed.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><i>"Frankly, my bear, I don't give a damn."</i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Goldilocks reacts when accused of eating all the porridge.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"<i>You know how to whittle, don't you? You just put your tips together and blog."</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><i> </i>--Bacall urges Bogey to share his woodworking skills on the Internet.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"I have always depended on the kindness of
stranglers.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Blanche
DuBois meets a serial killer in Boston.</span></span><i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“We don't need no stinkin’ badgers!”</span></span></span></i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Mr.
Toad erupts in anger at Mole, Rat, and their friend.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to reduce me,
aren’t you?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Dustin
Hoffman responds to a woman’s observation that he is overweight.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Get thee to a gunnery.”</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Hamlet
urges Ophelia to acquire a firearm for her protection.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Here’s looking at you, Syd.”</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Bogart
enjoys a drink with Greenstreet between takes.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"I coulda been a cowtender.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Brando
regrets he never worked on a ranch.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Show me the honey!”</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Winnie
the Pooh finds the pantry empty.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“I’ll get you my pretty, and your little hog,
too!”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--The
Wicked Witch of the West hankers for some bacon.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"We’ll always have Parts.”</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Bogart
and Bergman acknowledge that superstars are never out of film
work.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"I’ll save what she’s having.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Meg
Ryan’s dinner companion asks for a doggy-bag.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“You’re gonna need a bigger goat.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--A
troll under a bridge asserts his superior size.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"A nose by any name would smell as sweet.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Juliet
admires Romeo’s schnozz.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">"I’ll make him an offer he can’t recuse.”</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">--Trump considers a new attorney general.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The Bird of Buffalo
Bayou owes his success, or lack thereof, to typographical errors. They always
make his verse look better than it is.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> A mischievous young holy terror </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> Was so naughty that no one could bear her, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> She
was born overseas, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> And
her parents said, “She’s </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> A
topographical error.”</span></span></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-32420467619055261952017-08-14T16:42:00.000-05:002017-08-14T16:42:57.017-05:00Let's Go Downtown!
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje02gJnVla4y-hmTQRFQZtW3Nq16clCAbN85S3fmIPLNZ0_OT6_rFho35iFn732mi57HSq904E_3qeG5UrNQI9LPjnraFLvRb5TM76iHGApQvKiG8MP8zeGxxzXC2fs1yHyIjJrTZEoXaK/s1600/1-downtown-houston-skyline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="735" data-original-width="1200" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje02gJnVla4y-hmTQRFQZtW3Nq16clCAbN85S3fmIPLNZ0_OT6_rFho35iFn732mi57HSq904E_3qeG5UrNQI9LPjnraFLvRb5TM76iHGApQvKiG8MP8zeGxxzXC2fs1yHyIjJrTZEoXaK/s320/1-downtown-houston-skyline.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">In New York, New York,
where “the Bronx is up and the Battery’s down,” the term <i>downtown</i> makes perfect sense. Downtown is the southern tip of the
island (also known as “lower Manhattan”), just as it appears on most maps—down
at the bottom. Uptown, of course, is north, at the top, and midtown is in the
center. These terms came into use among New Yorkers around 1830. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">But <i>downtown</i> developed another meaning, as Petula Clark told us in the
‘60s. It’s where you can “listen to the music of
the traffic in the city,” and where the “lights are much brighter,” and where
you can “forget all your troubles, forget all your cares.”<span> </span>In that sense <i>downtown</i> has nothing to do with direction; it means “central
business district.” Traditionally, downtown is not only the commercial heart of
a city, it’s also where most of the stores, hotels, theatres, restaurants,
night clubs, and traffic congestion are found.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">This meaning became
widespread in North America around 1900. Of course, in recent years suburban flight and urban
sprawl have diminished the importance of downtown as a city center. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">How did this usage of <i>downtown</i> come about?<span> </span>Opinions differ. Some say it’s because
suburbs were typically built on higher ground than the central part of the
city. Possibly this is because many cities were originally founded on rivers,
and to gain easy access to the water, they were situated at the lowest area in
the river valley.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Other people say that <i>downtown</i> has its origin in the direction
of a river’s flow with reference to a given point. If the given point is the
earliest settlement in an area, further development likely occurred downriver,
as movement of goods and people would have been easier in that direction. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou doesn’t get downtown often any more; he says the hustle upsets his
artistic equilibrium. Most people would say he had no equilibrium to begin with,
owing to that third glass of Chardonnay.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>An
entrepreneurial clown</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Liked to
wait on a corner downtown.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span>Then
he would holler,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span><span> </span>“Give
me a dollar,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>And
I’ll stand on my head upside down.”</span></span></div>
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-70694882106675869072017-08-11T13:48:00.000-05:002017-08-11T13:48:30.365-05:00Any Portmanteau In A Storm
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I read this morning
about <i>maglev</i> trains, which will be
able to transport passengers some 300 miles in about half an hour. I wasn’t
familiar with the word <i>maglev, </i>so I
looked it up and found that it is a portmanteau word derived from <i>magnetic</i> and <i>levitation</i>.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhEUyELhh8CweyZJD0zSxI8XQXSM0OrqY_T_Qgu9Hx_5lUwZggQN-LzTeysBwuPAbrHdyGfC6-JqexeM9-ZDoITWRNUAEEzZBPUtqzH13NczU-LsxIvwlY46WmlxLI9LwtxLtIxRptGCpi/s1600/Portmanteau_words.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="786" data-original-width="826" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhEUyELhh8CweyZJD0zSxI8XQXSM0OrqY_T_Qgu9Hx_5lUwZggQN-LzTeysBwuPAbrHdyGfC6-JqexeM9-ZDoITWRNUAEEzZBPUtqzH13NczU-LsxIvwlY46WmlxLI9LwtxLtIxRptGCpi/s320/Portmanteau_words.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Portmanteau words are words
formed by combining parts of two words, each of which describes some aspect of an
object. A portmanteau is a type of suitcase popular in the nineteenth and early
twentieth centuries that consisted of two sections that folded together, each
designed to carry a specific type of clothing. <i>Portmanteau</i> is itself a portmanteau word, derived from the French <i>porter </i>(“carry”) and <i>manteau</i> (“coat”). </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As applied to words, the
term was more or less invented by Lewis Carroll in <i>Through the Looking-Glass</i>, when Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the
meaning and origin of some of the words in the nonsense poem “Jabberwocky.” <span> </span>For example, <i>mimsy</i> is a combination of <i>miserable
</i>and <i>flimsy</i>, <i>slithy</i> comes from <i>slimy</i>
and <i>lithe</i>, and <i>chortle</i> (which has found a permanent place in the English language)
was created from <i>chuckle</i> and <i>snort.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">English has adopted a
great many portmanteau words as standard: <i>sitcom,
labradoodle, infomercial, glitterati, newscast, televangelist, motorcycle, taxicab,
botox, camcorder, carjack, cyborg, vitamin,</i> <i>motel</i>, etc.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Like Ogden Nash, who
called himself a “worsifier,” the Bard of Buffalo Bayou has also come up with a
portmanteau word to describe himself: <i>chrymester.</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Said
Lewis Carroll to Alice Liddell,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>“Gee,
little girl, I think you’re swell.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>You’re
so light that I can carry you,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>You
know, I think I’d like to marry you!”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Said
Alice Liddell to Lewis Carroll,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>“I’m
afraid that you are over a barrel,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>You
might think wedlock would be heaven,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>But
you forget I’m just eleven.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>And
Lewis said, “Tut, tut, a shame!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>But
wait! Instead, I’ll put your name</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>In
my new book. Won’t that be grand?”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span><span> </span>Ergo:
<span> </span>“Alice in Wonderland.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-33231380701241847372017-06-05T16:14:00.000-05:002017-06-05T16:14:02.183-05:00Have Tux, Will Travel
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyF0MVpQFYPhOqolQyr3dDpcr6PuxOdwcnlMmyR0viRTTP7idyoKsojihuM8UjOFz6JLniCO80sfM-cO1WgwTcrx-1ondxFnytBpP2NtmjIQdvwV7ToPhHmyXPWqO16l7Utf4307aTeMh_/s1600/5d6a1ef3aee5776e90a0452b8cb595b8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="434" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyF0MVpQFYPhOqolQyr3dDpcr6PuxOdwcnlMmyR0viRTTP7idyoKsojihuM8UjOFz6JLniCO80sfM-cO1WgwTcrx-1ondxFnytBpP2NtmjIQdvwV7ToPhHmyXPWqO16l7Utf4307aTeMh_/s320/5d6a1ef3aee5776e90a0452b8cb595b8.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The first tuxedo I ever
acquired was when I was fifteen. Although I was definitely not a member of the
elite upper crust, I was a student at a public high school (Mirabeau Buonaparte
Lamar) at which a considerable number of scions of well-to-do families were
enrolled. It was the custom of these well-heeled young people to honor
themselves from time to time throughout the school year with formal balls,
usually held at the River Oaks Country Club, situated at the opposite end of
the boulevard on which the high school faced.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Consequently, I was
invited to a number of gala events that were several notches above my natural
social station. My mother, a</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">divorcée</span> struggling to support her aged father, her feckless son, and
herself on a secretary’s salary of $300 per month, soon found it was more
economical to purchase a formal outfit for her social-climbing teenager than to
rent all that gear several times a year.</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At a discount clothing
emporium known as SchwoBilt, now no longer with us, we purchased for a
relatively modest sum a black jacket with faux-silk lapels, black trousers with a
silk stripe down each leg, a white formal shirt, a maroon bow-tie and cummerbund (that color was the
fashion then), a pair of cheap mother-of-pearl cufflinks and matching set of
studs. <i>Voilà! </i>I was in high society!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That tuxedo, cheap as it
was, lasted me through graduate school, after which I acquired a new one for my
wedding. During my days at the Society for the Performing Arts, a tux
constituted my ordinary evening workclothes, so I acquired yet another monkey
suit, which has lasted me to this day. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The name <i>tuxedo</i> stems from Tuxedo Park, a summer
resort for the wealthy in upstate New York, where the short black dinner jacket
was first worn by daring young blades around 1886. Known in England as a <i>dinner suit</i> or simply a <i>dinner jacket</i>, the tuxedo coat was a
departure from the long tailcoat that had been customary in formal dress. In
France and most European countries, the tuxedo is known as a <i>smoking</i>, derived from the English <i>smoking jacket, </i>which was the first
manifestation of a short coat for evening wear, introduced by the Prince of
Wales (later King Edward VII).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>Tuxedo</i>
is etymologically derived from the Algonquin <i>p’tuck-sepo</i>, which means “crooked river.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While we're on an etymological kick, I might as well mention that <i>cummerbund</i> has its origin in the Hindi <i>kamarband</i>, derived from Persian <i>kamar </i>("waist") and <i>band</i> ("something that ties"). </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou often appears in a tuxedo, so that he won't scandalize the neighbors by walking around in his skivvies while his overalls are at the cleaners.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Tuxedoed,
black-tied, cummerbunded,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span> </span>Too
bad I’m also under-funded.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-40378349299925629592017-05-23T11:30:00.001-05:002017-05-23T11:30:43.854-05:00Tea Formation
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaCKTJHAXuXUglfDteCH3f673ZmOFh5U3GhXp_RY7ZdQw3OtUxOCn9K2kw3Uyogf2pk7KsUPWcvER9M76AOIY2exVTir9whfyqPYPMtyv2tDFwdUzv7SW8dxrd0uSMDJSXc6mhKHlYdppE/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaCKTJHAXuXUglfDteCH3f673ZmOFh5U3GhXp_RY7ZdQw3OtUxOCn9K2kw3Uyogf2pk7KsUPWcvER9M76AOIY2exVTir9whfyqPYPMtyv2tDFwdUzv7SW8dxrd0uSMDJSXc6mhKHlYdppE/s320/image.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">In honor of a visit by the Duchess of York, I see the high-society
folks in Houston have thrown a little afternoon get-together that they called a
“high tea.” Although I was not present at this gala event, I’m willing to bet
that it was not high tea at all.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Most Americans have the mistaken notion that “high tea” is a very elaborate
spread, replete with silver teapot, fine china cups, dainty finger sandwiches
of cucumber and smoked salmon, rich cakes, delicate cream puffs, chocolate </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">éclairs,</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> crumpets, and
buttery scones laden with clotted cream.<span>
</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">That’s “afternoon tea,” albeit a very upscale one. A more typical
afternoon tea would consist of a cup of tea, a few biscuits (cookies), and
maybe a slice of cake.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Variations of afternoon tea include a “light tea,” in which the food
is generally limited to sweets, such as biscuits, sponge cakes, madeleines, or
trifle; “full tea,” in which various savory sandwiches are added to a large
array of sweets; and “cream tea,” in which the principal food is scones with
Devonshire cream and strawberry preserves. If fresh strawberries are served
with the scones, the cream tea becomes a “strawberry tea.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The misunderstanding about “high tea” comes from the interpretation of
the word “high,” which is wrongly thought in this instance to mean “grand” or “elegant.”
In fact “high tea,” usually served in working-class households, consists of
simple, hot food—fried eggs, sausages, cheese, tomatoes, chips, beans, etc., as well as a
cup of tea—and serves as the evening meal. Nowadays, one finds such a meal
referred to as “high tea” mostly in Scotland and the North of England. In other
places it may be known as “supper” of simply “tea.” </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The best explanation I have come across as to why it’s called “high
tea,” is that it was eaten around 6:00 p.m. by servants at a dinner table of
standard height—as opposed to the low tea tables on which afternoon tea for the
upper crust had been served, usually at about 4:00 p.m. Eaten from a more
elevated table, the meal was therefore a “high” tea.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The Bard of
Buffalo Bayou is usually high himself, but not from tea. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>The
high and mighty</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Like
their high tea,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>But
I’ll take low tea</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Over
no tea. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-38695684446079049762017-05-08T14:21:00.000-05:002017-05-08T14:43:13.603-05:00Illicit vs. Elicit<style>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">I could scarcely believe my eyes when <i>The New York Times</i>, which really ought to
know better, quoted a student at the University of California, Berkeley, as
saying:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> “</span>A
lot of the speakers whom they invited were done just to</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>illicit</i> a reaction, to
cause a negative outburst.”<span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">That
ludicrously erroneous <i>illicit</i> was
changed to <i>elicit</i> in the online
posting, but how it ever got past copy editors into the print edition boggles
the mind.</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Elicit</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">
is a verb, dating to the 1640s in English, derived from the Latin <i>elicitus</i>, past participle of <i>elicere</i>, “to draw forth, evoke.”</span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Illicit</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">,
is an adjective, which goes all the way back to 1500, from the Old French <i>Illlicite</i>, meaning “illegal, forbidden,”
from the Latin <i>illicitus</i>, which also
means “not lawful.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The two
words are very similar in pronunciation, which no doubt accounts for their
confusion with each other. Nonetheless, such an egregious misuse makes one
wonder if copy editors are still employed at <i>The New York Times.</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Illicit </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">is
only one of many adjectives that have been used to refer to The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou. A few of the many others are <i>immoral,
obscene, repugnant, ridiculous, odious,</i> and <i>abhorrent.</i> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> There
was a young lady named Bisset,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> Whose
films were somewhat explicit.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> When
one went a bit far,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> It
was labeled with “R,”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> And
the censors pronounced it illicit.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> The
response that this did elicit</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> From
the highly indignant Miss Bisset</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> Was
“Chacun à son goût,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;"> If
it’s too hot for you,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;"> The
solution is simply to miss it.”</span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><br />
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021450099193451157.post-42018118927044932792017-04-24T16:54:00.000-05:002017-04-24T16:54:13.393-05:00Once More Unto the Breeches
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> </span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-NYzkQfNXq76vBKt7ic7ApbVIWun6eLGH2OVI4u5tlnD2_2RmsPykVDgK1IB5HX2xZ8mIS_ArdaCIw-aoNmTN_QMp4I0mosOsE2spWuP5e9yurnZRz2MpT8rZfgmSrL_xOz5VkmPjGES/s1600/1416742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-NYzkQfNXq76vBKt7ic7ApbVIWun6eLGH2OVI4u5tlnD2_2RmsPykVDgK1IB5HX2xZ8mIS_ArdaCIw-aoNmTN_QMp4I0mosOsE2spWuP5e9yurnZRz2MpT8rZfgmSrL_xOz5VkmPjGES/s320/1416742.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">I’ve been collecting
malapropisms from ostensibly very high-class publications, and it’s surprising
how many usage errors turn up in journals who purport to use good English. Most
of them are the type of malapropism known as an <i>eggcorn</i>, which is named for a mistake made by a woman who
misunderstood the word <i>acorn. </i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The New Yorker, of all
esoteric literary magazines, recently wrote that the Royal Shakespeare Company
had gone “once more unto the <i>breech</i>”
in its productions of for history plays. According to my dictionary this might
mean the RSC had betaken itself to half of a pair of short pants, to the rear
end of someone's body, to a baby being born head first, or to part of a
firearm to the rear of the barrel.<span>
</span>None of these made much sense.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">I think The New Yorker
intended to say the Shakespeareans had gone to the <i>breach</i>, alluding to a quotation from <i>Henry V:<br />
<span> </span></i>Once
more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Or
close the wall up with our English dead.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">In this sense <i>breach</i> means a “gap, as in a wall, made
by battering.” It derives from Middle English <i>breche</i>, which means “an act of breaking.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Among other such
eggcorns I’ve encountered are “go to great links” (instead of “lengths”),
“last-stitch effort” (“last-ditch”), “tow the line” (“toe”), “well-healed”
(“heeled”), and “mute point” (“moot”).<span>
</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Malapropisms, by the
way, as everyone knows, are named for the character Mrs. Malaprop, in Richard
Brinsley Sheridan’s <i>The Rivals, </i>who says
things like “illiterate” when she means “obliterate,” “illegible” when she
means “ineligible,” and “contagious” when she means “contiguous.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The Bard of Buffalo
Bayou says exactly what he means, and the more’s the pity.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Henry
V was a merry old soul,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>And
a merry old soul was he,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>Defeating
the French was his favorite goal,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>And
he set out to do with glee.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>He
called for his soldiers, and then called for more,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>And
told them go “unto the breach,”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>He vanquished the French by the end of Act Four,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span> </span>And then gave a very long speech.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Jim Bernhardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02002078047052060275noreply@blogger.com0