Now! At A Book Store Near You

The free ride is over.  It’s time to pay up.  The book-like object known as Words Gone Wild, of which this blog is a mere harbinger, is now available for purchase.  It’s in book stores hither and thither, and it’s on-line at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, borders.com, and other cyber-outlets.  (How these sites already have “used copies” available, I couldn’t say; someone is reading too fast.)

The good news is the book’s list price, before any discounts, is only $22.95. That comes to only 5.1 ten-thousandths of a cent per word.  And some of them are very long words.  Such a deal!                        

Remember, too, that even if you don’t care to read it, its size and weight make it suitable for use as a doorstop, paperweight, fly-swatter, or blunt weapon.  You may think of other ways to use it on your own; if so, please share them with Martha Stewart.

A word of caution: there is another book out there with the same title. The other one is a book of serious poetry.  Be sure you know which one you’re ordering!

As you are aware, the Bard of Buffalo Bayou is loath to lend his talents, such as they are, to commercial enterprises.   He knows, however, which side his bread is buttered on, and he has therefore agreed—churlishly, to be sure—to do what he can to promote the sale of this gallimaufry by providing a Table of Contents:

              
            Limericks, clerihews, comic palaver, 

            Puzzles, and games by the score,

            Hysterical puns that could charm a cadaver,           

            Malapropisms, and more,

            Double-entendres (rather risqué),

            Nifty Tom Swifties galore,

            Tangy tongue-twisters too tricky to say—

            Like “Edith thinks sick thoughts of Thor,”

            Oodles of nonsense verse for the nonce,

            Slang words at which you will roar,

            Riddles to which you’ll give a response,

            And knock-knocks—who’s that at the door?

           

            Feghoots, and croakers, and odd spoonerisms,

            Acrostics you’ll simply adore,

            Rhopalics and eggcorns, a few euphemisms--

            Soon you’ll be shouting “Encore!”

           

            Anagrams, mondegreens, row upon row,

            To thrill you right down to the core,

            Palindromes going both backward and fro—

            Words Gone Wild is now at your store.